"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it."

- William A. Ward

"I have gotten far more out of alcohol than alcohol will ever get out of me."

- Winston Churchill

According to a blood technician, I have "beautiful" veins. They're "a blood technician's dream" - thick, and whoever is trying to draw blood can't miss it. Mine are "textbook-perfect" apparently.

When people aren't getting a tip from you anything good they say about you is less likely to be flattery and more likely to be a genuine compliment.

Actor Peter O'Toole wears (or used to wear) a watch on both wrists. When asked why he replied, "Life is too short to risk wasting precious seconds glancing at the wrong wrist."

"You're one of the only people I know who doesn't hate their job"

- something recently said to me

I can't believe I've listened to a song called "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"...

And why can't I grow a mullet?

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."

- Michelangelo (1475-1564)

Evidently, it's possible for someone not to notice the color of the sky for years. But when you live in London, it's probably a good thing - it tends to be an ominous grey there.

"Please... is it money you're after? I'll give you as much as you want!"

"May the saints forgive you. I won't."

Quality over Quantity

Tourists ask me for directions in places where I am a tourist. In spite of not being one to buy guidebooks, I'm usually able to help them out.

You can shear a sheep several times but you can only skin it once.