"If it takes too long, you're probably doing it wrong."
- my GRE book

What is a Renaissance Man? Am I one? I'm not satisfied with any one pursuit. I'm not satisfied with just one major (or even two). I'm not fully satisfied with the courses I take. I want everything together. I want an integration, a unity... to see everything in the widest context, to foster a sense that all things fit together. But there are pressures to stay within the limits - we're often locked at lower levels.

How do you define merit? Test scores and grades are never enough. Grades depend on the whims of teachers. And standardized tests? The best correlation for high SAT scores is wealth. There are many subjective judgements for merit and they come in many forms. Motivation, ambition, curiosity, capacity to take risks and originality are all crucial points, but there are no quantitative standards for these. True passion/spirit is hard to find in a written document. It's important for institutions to say they are selective, but it's a lie since they don't know how to define and measure merit. At the other end, we lie to ourselves when we are admitted because we believe we are qualified, and others aren't. What do any of you think about all this?
[BTW I'm talking about admissions to a liberal arts college, not to a technical institution or to some company or place that expects specific skills from you]

Do you ever wonder if other people perceive/sense things the way that you do? How do you really know if the red you see is the exact same color/shade that other people call red? Well... don't worry about that any more. It seem scientists have found a physiological basis for the perception of color. Although, we still haven't definitively solved the problem of how to really know that other minds exist, eh? How do we know we're not just dreaming up the whole world and everyone in it? All of you reading my blog might not even exist ;)

Tonight I ate beef voluntarily for the first time in around 10 years. It was a small chunk from Boik's taco, at the Dillo. I've been meaning to do this for a while because I've realized that there aren't any real reasons why I don't eat beef. In the beginning there were (cultural, religious, etc). Since then the reasons have lost all salience, and it's just been a habit for me not to. Anyways, onto what I thought about the experience... it was chewy and reminded me of lamb. The big question is, can I finish a whole steak taco? Will I even order one?

If you can't have your cake and eat it, eat it slowly and hope that there's more baking in the oven.

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, there's going to be one big-ass fight over where to set the thermostat."
- Jim Rosenberg

"The covers of this book are too far apart"
- Ambrose Bierce

Every guy should wear a cup when they spar in TKD. If this guy John did, then I wouldn't have hurt him as much when I accidentally kicked him in the privates today at practice. I was doing a turning side kick, but at the same time he was trying to kick my head... I had aimed for his lower stomach, but it struck a bit lower cuz of the kick he was doing... not nice. But he was ok after a little bit. There's a risk inherent with every physical activity... although actually, TKD is supposed to be pretty safe on the whole. When we spar we wear some pads and don't use full force. And most of the time we're just doing stuff in the air. Rarely with pads/bags.

I was the winner at "Zip, Zap, Zop" today! It's a game you play with a group of ppl standing in a circle. One person starts by pointing to another person and saying "zip." Then that person has to point to someone and say "zap." The person receving has to point to someone and say "zop." That continues, so it sound like "zip" "zap" zop" "zip" "zap" zop" etc... It gets fast and furious, and people are out if they say the wrong word, if they react when they aren't supposed to, or if they don't react. You have to be clear with your pointing, or else you're out too. So.... I won today. I beat everyone. The game lasted less than 10 minutes, we did it right at the start of class. The point? To bring us out of the everyday world, to bring us out of our existential suffering...? Funny how a simple kid's game can have a powerful effect on us *mature* people. But I'm sure none of us were thinking about any metaphysical stuff while we were playing!

Why did I like Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN? Well, for lot of reasons. I'll try to write some here, but I won't really be doing justice to everything I liked about it... Sincerity, humanity. Best friends that are always trying to beat each other, who have created a "manifesto" that bonds them. The cousin's wife hurting from a low point in her life, wanting an adventure with two young virile guys (how she has so much control over them). Frankness. Goofiness. Insecurity covered up by machismo. Sex dynamics: the sex was all eager, but the sensuality was there throughout. I liked how at times all the sound would drop away and the narrator would say something about the moment - it was sobering, but a powerful way to tell the story. And... I liked who I watched it with, I think that makes a difference.

I had my MP3 Player with me in my seminar yesterday and I remembered that it had some memory available. It records voice, so I had the idea of recording my voice while I was participating in class discussion. The point was to try to know what it is like to have the perspective of the other. We cannot view ourselves the way others do. Sometimes others can tell you things about yourself that you would never know. It's like a weapon: they have a perspective that is not in your control. They have a freedom that you cannot share. So... I recorded my voice. After class I listened to the recording and... I didn't really have a profound experience. I just thought I said "um" a lot. Do I really say "um" a lot in conversation? Maybe I said it more than I normally do because I was trying to explain some tricky ideas, or because I was conscious of the fact that I was recording my voice...?

"Just because there is a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score."
- a former Prism member (who I won't identify here) told me this

Most of us are circus performers in the sense that we have requirements and obligations, and if we change things we do so at our own peril. There is an incentive to perform under the existing strategies, but there are substantial losses.

Does my facial hair really make me look like Prince?!

What'll be the most memorable line from the "Matrix Reloaded"? And what is the most memorable line from the last one? I'm not sure, but these are good candidates:
"I know kung fu"
"There is no spoon"

I was at the gym today and saw a guy who was at taekwondo practice last night. As well as having taekwondo together I see him around the dorm on weekends sometimes. I said hey, and asked how his legs were doing (ie. if they were sore... cuz practice is just starting up this semester and we're not all in the best condition). He said "what was last night?" I replied... "taekwondo practice." Then he said I was confusing him for his (twin) brother. That is the freakiest thing that has happened to me in a while! It's weird... they're like clones. I do martial arts with one, and drink and hang out a bit with the other! I never knew that they were not the same person!! One guy's Kirk, the other Casey. I thought their names were kind of interchangeable, or one was a nickname, I never really questioned it. Probably cuz I didn't know them too well - just through TKD and other friends.

"To know the road ahead, ask those coming back."
- Chinese Proverb

Did you know the word "barbarian" was made to label people who talk funny (ie. they sound like they are saying "ba ba ba..." when they talk). I think it was the ancient Greeks that came up with it. I think that's pretty interesting. Lots of words have cool etymologies... but they are generally more obvious. For example, "lunatic" kind of refers to someone who is influenced by the moon (luna). "Handicap" refers to "hand-in-cap" (ie. a beggar) - cuz in the old days people who were crippled couldn't be of any use in society and could only beg.

"I feel like a slightly colorblind chameleon, never quite sure how well I'm blending in. And even when no one else in the room knows my secret, it's always with me: I'm forever waiting to be found out."
- some guy on what it's like to be an expatriate, in this month's United Airlines magazine.