Sometimes in order to see more you need to see less.

I came up with this phrase as I was walking outside without glasses or my contact lenses. I felt that by seeing others less clearly, I could focus more on myself - what I was feeling, and where I was going. Normally when I or others walk up and down the runways/catwalks that are the NYC streets, we become preoccupied with looking at others. Someone may wear something different that catches your attention, or you may read something interesting off someone's t-shirt, or you may see someone you know, or you may see an attractive/unattractive person. There's a tranquilization of the self. The self is temporarily reduced to a viewer, someone who treats others as objects. Or, the self, being concerned with image, participates and allows others to view them as objects. Walking without being able to see very clearly shakes up these patterns.

FYI I'm only a bit shortsighted, my eyes are -1.75 and -2.00.

People who make and sell clothes often use tall, skinny women who don't eat much to help sell their clothes. I wonder exactly why the clothes are supposed to look better when worn by very skinny women. Perhaps they don't really look better on skinny women, but their skinniness makes the clothes stand out more. When people have something that the majority of people don't (skinniness in this case), they grab more attention.

Have you ever walked down a street, seen a pigeon and felt like you could have sworn that you had seen that same pigeon before?

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

Do you believe this adage? Are the things we already have more valuable than the things we only hope to get? What if you hold out, drop your 'bird' and try to go for the better option? You may be left with nothing or you could be successful and have something better.

Do I take an internship that I need to commit to now, even though it may not be what I want to get into and probably won't lead to employment with that company? Or should I hold out and play the nauseating game of applying to more companies? There is potential for many possible outcomes. In a way, this kind of thinking is counterfactual - how can you completely know that one internship is better than another before embarking on both of them? As we experience them we determine whether it's worth one bird or two.

Potential.

Similar but different. Back like the return of an echo - the sound a bit modified, it doesn't seem quite the same. In its journey it's influenced by the medium, but it's clearly recognizable.

I'm back in my apartment, after being abroad for much of the summer. It feels like something is missing. Not something material.

[on the road]

Aunt N: "This isn't the way to the wildlife reserve"
Uncle P: (driving) "But this is a good road"

Have you ever come back on to land after being on a boat/ship and still felt like you were bobbing on the sea? I hope I only still feel this way because of the free-flowing rum punch.

Today I was over, under, and amidst many schools of fish, it was intense. There were hundreds and hundreds of different kinds of fish - most were bigger than my hand. They really like bread. I'm going to have to go snorkeling again before my stay here is over. I wonder what the fish or turtles think about us finless mammals swimming amongst them. I've noticed that schools seem to have a shared consciousness. This is because when I touch one, a whole bunch of them instantly dart away. How do they know that I'm actually touching their neighbor? They don't care that I'm very close to them. But there's some instant communication, or shared consciousness when it comes to being touched. I only did this twice today, and I was gentle... I'm not a meanie.

I haven't worn socks and closed shoes since I arrived in Barbados. Can you remember a time in your life where you didn't wear socks and shoes for a period of 2 weeks? Infancy doesn't count.

Today I saw a calculator used in 1904 (and many other antiques) at an old plantation house. I didn't even know they had calculators in the Western world that long ago. It looked like a mini typewriter. In the Orient they've had abacuses for ages, and many people still use them today.

Wagwan = what is going on?

About 90% of the kids in Barbados are in single-parent families. People here don't tend to want to get married. If they do, it's pretty inevitable that the husband will go off with some other woman. Many women have and raise children from different men. This trend extends throughout the Caribbean, and things have been this way for hundreds of years. How many cultures in the world have this dynamic?

If Michael Phelps was a nation, he'd be 9th on the Olympic medal chart.

What one word can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love?

I really don't like Judge Judy, and I'm not one to really not like people.

Today I was stung by a jellyfish. I'm actually happy about it. The pain only lasted for half a second. But, now I know what it's like to be stung by one and not many people can say that. I'm not afraid of them... although I wouldn't want a huge one stinging me with many tentacles.

Natural disasters are terrible, but let's keep things in perspective: (approximate values)

Hurricane Charley- 16 dead, 'thousands' homeless.

This month's monsoon in South Asia: 1,930 dead, 70,000 homeless, 20 million in need of food. Over 1,500 died in last year's monsoon.

In a blackout that happened tonight -

Uncle P (to my aunt): Here, light this candle.
Aunt N: That's not a candle, that's a sewing kit.

I killed a centipede today (nearly 2 inches long). It was in the kitchen. In the tropics you need to check under your pillow for them.

"One who marries for love alone will have bad days, but good nights."
- Egyptian proverb (which I heard on the radio today)

By the way, I swam with turtles. Some were over 3 ft long. They were cute. I also swam with huge tarpon, which was unpleasant at first - for a second I thought the first one I saw was a medium-sized shark. There was also a big blowfish (the biggest I've ever seen), flying fish, sea urchin, several schools of fish, and what I believed to be a barracuda but didn't stay and investigate long enough to be sure. It had a long cylindrical body, but wasn't shiny. I didn't get a very good look at its teeth.

In Barbados, where I am now, there is a trend of local men hanging out "on the block" (i.e. chatting, gambling, etc. out on the street) and local woman spending time at churches. It's interesting to think about the possible explanations for this.

I'm also wondering about whether I should go swim with big turtles in the sea.