This is the first time I've been in the US this close to Christmas, and I'm somewhat disgusted by the amount of advertising for specific products. Haven't you seen/heard too many ads for digital cameras, cologne/perfume, plasma TVs, etc, etc? Firstly, I think materialism shouldn't be promoted more than the festivities and the spirit of the season. Secondly, for a gift to be really special, the idea for the particular item should come from the individual. They should start out with a particular inspiration or some thoughts about what the receiver would like. They shouldn't be coerced or persuaded by ads. How does that make the gift special? I believe the expression goes, "it's the thought that counts." I realize we do have the freedom not to choose items that are pushed on us, but I don't like to be influenced about what to buy.

"People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind."
- William Butler Yeats

Fortunately for me I'm an all-rounder... or at least I think so. But hey wait... if I think so then that's being too rational! Ok I'll admit... I am more on the rational/philosophical side. But... through my personal philosophy I always try to nourish my passions/interests (which I believe have to do with the best parts of the mind).

When several of your classmates mention after an exam that their hands were hurting at times because of too much writing, and your hand never hurt at all, is that a bad thing? Does it mean I didn't write enough, or that I have strong muscles in my hand? Or maybe I didn't grip my pen as hard as they did?

You know you have super sound system when the bass causes the contents of your rubbish bin to resettle and, occasionally, stacks of books to fall over! What am I listening to? Underworld's "Luetin"... check it out. It's so pure. But, to do justice to it you better have some good bass.

"It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere."
- Voltaire

Quite pessimistic about human nature, but I think this kind of mindlessness does exist in the world. This idea seems to be related to Plato's Cave (i.e. we're chained and can only see shadows on the wall, not what is real). If you don't know what I'm talking about, think of The Matrix. Another idea is that often we do things to lengthen our chains and make things more comfortable. But, that doesn't erase the fact we're still imprisoned.

"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Have you ever wondered why dryer lint is just about ALWAYS blue-gray? Obviously, lint color is a property of the clothes we wear. Since everyone generally wears the same range of colors (oh, how we love to conform!), those colors blended together produce blue-gray lint.

Which of the Greek Gods are you? Press this to find out.

On revenge: "If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum."
- Chinese proverb

I've been learning about marketing. This book I have says that in the pet food industry companies have found a way around direct competition in terms of distribution channels. Ralston (a company I've never heard of, but apparantly is very big in the pet food industry in this country) floods the shelves of stores with many brands. In 1996 Iams sold $350 million of Eukanuba brand premium dog food to breeders and specialty stores. In the same year Hill's Pet Products (part of Colgate-Palmolive) sold $750 million of Science Diet pet food and other products through vetrinarian's offices.

The important lesson I learned from this example is CLEARLY not about product distribution channels. I can't believe that in this country people spend well over $1 billion annually on pet food. Now, I might be biased because I've never had a pet (although I've taken care of fish in a pond and care for plants), but wouldn't this money be much better off given to UNICEF, or some charity? Or put towards education? Or given to starving/hungry people? Or put towards finding a cure for AIDS? Or immunizing people against diseases? Or wiping out malaria and other diseases?

This is quite surreal for me:
http://www.roshan.af/
"Roshan is the trading name for Telecom Development Company Afghanistan Ltd. an international consortium with strong regional connections led by the Aga Khan Fund for Economic Development (AKFED) and comprising Monaco Telecom International (MTI), U.S.-based MCT Corp. and Alcatel."

"After undertaking significant, and ground-breaking local research, Telecom Development Company Afghanistan Ltd. (TDCA) selected Roshan as its brand for its digital GSM wireless services in Afghanistan. The word Roshan means "Light" in Dari and Pashto languages, and symbolises TDCA's commitment to bring a new era of high quality and reliable communications to Afghanistan. Roshan also reflects a very strongly held Afghan vision of the immediate future; that of the emergence of Afghanistan back into a 'world of peace and prosperity'."

"If you want to know what law school's like, imagine taking class with all the students that stayed after class to kiss up to the Prof in college - well, that's law school."
- Ryan Williams (friend and old roommate from Duke who's in law school at Cornell)

I think I have the worst kitchen faucet of all time. Well... maybe not of all time (I'm not sure about the days when running water was just catching on). The trouble is that the temperature is impossible to control. The cold water becomes freezing cold pretty quickly. Also, the hot water starts at room temperature and, after a period of time that is impossible to predict, becomes scalding (it has to do with the pressure, the time of the day, the weather outside and probably how wrathful the Hot Water God is feeling). Trying to mix the two to get a perfectly uniform and warm temperature, something which won’t freeze or cook your hands while washing up, is pretty tough. How I cope is to not do a lot of washing up in one go. I try to minimize the time of this exquisite torture.

Hunger is the best spice.

From NYTimes.com today:
A 425-million-year-old fossil found in Herefordshire, England, may be the oldest record of an animal that is unarguably male. Scientists report today in the journal Science that the tiny crustacean, only two-tenths of an inch long, had an unmistakable penis.

In the paper published in today's issue, the scientists name the creature Colymbosathon ecplecticos, which they say means swimmer with a large penis.

David J. Siveter, a geologist at the University of Leicester, said that although this was his literal translation of the Greek, it might, like so many other references to virility in males, be a bit of an exaggeration.

Colymbosathon, he said, was not remarkable among its group of crustaceans, the ostracodes. Some have copulatory organs one-third the length of their bodies, he said, and some produce sperm 10 times the length of their bodies. Colymbosathon is more modest; its penis was less than a fifth of its body length.

My first thought was how can a fossil of a crustacean two-tenths of an inch long have an "unmistakable" penis (especially if the penis is less than one-fifth of two-tenths of an inch long)? I'm pretty sure most people on the planet wouldn't be able to tell the penis from one of the legs (that is, unless it looked like a human one). No doubt the experts know the difference between a crustacean's penis and its leg, but I just think it's inappropriate to use the word "unmistakable" unless it really is so. My second thought was amazement at how the sperm of some creatures can be 10 times longer than their bodies! That seems so crazy, but it does make sense - I suspect those cells have to swim through ocean currents to get to the crab eggs, so they need long, strong tails.

"Did you train harder than your opponents did today?"
- sign on the inside of the door to the wrestling room

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
- Governor Schwarzenegger

Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is wrong.

Paying money to have your name on a brass plaque (e.g. in a building or on a bench) is not very different to writing your name somewhere yourself (grafitti/vandalism). In either case there's that bit of gratification that your name is on display. Also, there's the guilt that you have been ostentatious/egoistic. People that are truly benevolent do not need or want their name in brass or things named after them. It's an elitist form of grafitti - it's occurs in prominent places as opposed to random ones, and it's socially acceptable. I wonder why people have the urge to write their name on the world. Another concern of mine, which is somewhat related, is why people (particularly Americans) like to shove/stick their flag everywhere.

To all the people out there that don't like eating fish (and aren't vegetarians)... you guys are missing out on some great stuff.

"The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing. Ultimately, after endlessly repeated rebuffs, it suceeds. This is one of the few points in which one may be optimistic about the future of mankind."
- S. Freud

Annonymous confessions... an interesting read. For some reason I felt like reading a lot. In part, cuz some people are so weird. Also, I was curious to see what things bother people. After doing some introspection... I didn't feel like I had anything I wanted to unload/confess. Maybe I'm in denial? Or maybe I'm just a goodie-goodie.

Blogs can sometimes function as a place to unload/vent/confess. I don't really understand why people would want to post things that could incriminate them, though. I can see why some people don't want their parents reading their blogs. Just check out this article.

40% of Americans think cloning a sheep is unethical, but 65% cheat on their mate.

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
- Dan Quayle

Big muscles cannot make up for small character.

4/5 New Yorkers that own a telescope don't use it to look at the stars... I live in a perverted place.

When someone says "You have (a) nice curtains/jacket/whatever" it's appropriate to say "thank you" cuz it's a compliment. However, is it technically appropriate to say "thank you" when they say "I like your curtains/jacket/whatever?" In the first case, they're saying you have good taste. In the second, they're just saying they like the thing(s). Saying "thank you" is the instinctive response, but when thinking about it for a bit, you're thanking them for their taste, which is a little odd. Maybe the appropriate response is "sorry, you can't have it!"

Dang I really want to take aikido... been wanting to for some time.

"The purpose of Aikido is not in fighting and defeating an enemy, but in fighting and defeating your own aggressive instincts. The strengths of Aikido are not in muscular force but in flexibility, communication, timing, control and modesty."
- O Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, Founder of Aikido

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
- George Bernard Shaw

To beard or not to beard, that is the question. Why do guys shave? To look young? So their faces aren't covered? So they are smooth when they get kisses on the cheek? Because society says so? Shaving is not good for the skin. And it takes time. And it has nothing to do with hygiene. And blades, shaving cream and other products aren't good for the environment. If you think beards look bad... it's because they aren't really socially acceptable. Society has brainwashed you into thinking they are bad.

I realize that shaving is one of the few socially acceptable vanity practices that guys have. The other is getting hair cuts. I realize that society has made girls have to deal with many more issues. However, not only am I an advocate for a reduction of (or end to) male shaving... I also don't think that girls have to shave (legs, armpits, etc) anywhere as near as often as they do. Or wear as much makeup. Or straighten their hair and put highlights. Or wear heels. Or very tight clothing. Or whatever else they have to do.

Bottom line... society, if you were a person, you and I would sit down and have a long chat. And if you don't like what I have to say, I'll twist your arm behind your back till you promise to change. I can't go for a Gandhi-eqsue non-violent protest/resistance... since you won't care if I starve and die. What people stand for is more important than the clothes/shoes they stand in and the style/appearance they adopt. I want people to stop judging others from the outside. If everyone stopped worrying about their presentation (hygiene, hopefully they'll still take care of), imagine how much time/energy people would have to do other things!

"An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come."
- Victor Hugo, Histoire d'un Crime

"Dripping water bores a hole through stone."
- Chinese proverb

This mentality is maladaptive in the West - if you want to go through stone, you should smash it. It's faster, more effective, increases self-efficacy, asserts control, satisfies individual wants, etc. There's less concern for harmony.

There's a woman that lives upstairs, who I sometimes hear in the stairwell calling: "Hey Andy! Come on Andy! Let's go Andy! Come on, it's time to go! Aaaaaanndy!" I always thought she was calling a young, lazy or delinquent boy. Tonight I realized that Andy is a dog. I even saw him. I never thought “Andy” could be the name of a dog… probably because over the course of my life I’ve met like 5 different human Andys. This is significant because... it reminds me that automatic schemas that I use can be wrong, and that I shouldn't assume things so readily.

To Ph.D or not to Ph.D, that is the question. I can launch into a big essay on it... but this isn't really the right place.

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
- Carl Jung

It's GREAT having an 80W speaker system (40W subwoofer) and being able to go pretty loud! (not blast it... cuz it's new and I don't wanna bust it!) It's perfect not having any people that live underneath me... there's no one that's going to complain to the cops about a vibrating ceiling.

I'm crazy about Heartland Granola Cereal (the original kind)!!! I don't know why. I wonder if it'll pass or if it'll endure. I love the texture, and it has the right amount of sweetness (well, a little on the sweeter side, but it's nice). The flavor is so good!

"To whom much is given, much is required."
(A few days after hearing this, I found that it comes from the Bible)

The reasons why we start things may have little or nothing to do with the reasons why we continue them. I started martial arts because I wanted to be able to do the flashy things they do in the movies. But now, I do it for self-discipline, control, focus, health and technique. We don't always see the full picture when we start things. Do people start relationships for the right reasons? Are they the same reasons people keep as the relationship continues?

Is this true...?
"Visitors are like fish, after a few days they start to smell."

I don't like the word "proactive"... why isn't "active" good enough?

This might be quite heretic and upset some people... but I'll go ahead and write about it anyway (since open dialogue/discussion is never really a bad thing).

I've come to an understanding that the belief in God(s) and beliefs in things like feng shui or astrology are all self-fulfilling prophecies. Here’s my reasoning:

If you pray/meditate intensely, then you will see divinity in everything. You don’t see divinity before that. If you do, you are probably deluded, or people have put things in your head. No one can take you to God (don’t believe anyone who claims they can). Maybe they can put you on the path, but it’s an individual journey. If people emphasize behaviors and adherence to customs without taking care of beliefs and internal states, then they are missing the point of religion and the belief in God.

When it comes to feng shui, most people out there probably don’t know much about the techniques and strategies. Perhaps they are concerned that something about their home/office is not quite right. Or maybe they are just curious about the whole thing. The next step is they buy a book or hire a feng shui master. After reading a bit, or a consultation, they’ll learn about a “problem” or two. Perhaps it is that their bed is directly in line with their door (and this is bad because that’s the same direction corpses are when they are carried out of the room). Whatever the problem is, it creates a cognitive dissonance, a discomfort whereby the individual is motivated to do something to reduce the dissonance. After changing a few things around, the individual will feel better about the situation and their lives.

These two kinds of patterns of beliefs have something in common: the importance of the belief is created and strengthened by personal choices - not from external sources. Of course, there could be societal pressures. But, I’m saying that there’s nothing really out there in the world or universe that would make people believe in God, feng shui, etc. There’s nothing innate about it.

(Disclaimer: I'm not placing a value judgement on those people that believe in God(s), feng shui, etc. I think there are many merits of it.)

Picture this... it's past 3am, outside a pretty cool shisha place with great music (French rap, Morrocan, Arabic, and some hip hop):

One of us: "The music in there is great."
Middle-aged hardcore patron to a bunch of us: "The music there is the best!" (genuinely meaning it)
This guy Akshay (sounding real genuine and for no real reason other than to antagonize this guy): "Have you heard music at other places?"

Today in class we got our midterms back. My prof said that he threw out the results of 3 multiple-choice questions because lots of people in the class (around half) got it wrong. On the surface, this seems fair... since if lots of people in the class got it wrong, then it means it wasn't a very good question (maybe the meaning wasn't clear). However... isn't this unfair to people that got the question correct? The people who could see what the prof was asking for, and correctly deciphered the question? If you were one of the people who got it right... if you debated it with the class, the class would probably disagree with you - so, by using the class as the reference, it should be thrown out. But.... what if you go to the textbooks, or some gurus in the field? This brings into question what true knowledge is. But... keep in mind that if I studied math and there was only one correct answer each time, then there wouldn't be reason to throw questions out.

"Culture shapes drug use, but drugs also shape culture, inspiring all sorts of social practices, from ceremonial toasts to coffee breaks."
- David Courtwright

"Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest. And like a forest it's easy to lose your way... to get lost... to forget where you came in."
- Hattori Hanzo, in "Kill Bill"

It's scary how much the circumference of your finger changes between summer and winter. Well... mine changes. Makes it tough to know your exact ring size.

You know what's also scary? Seeing this REALLY BIG black woman repeatedly slap a small Hispanic on the subway because he was asleep and he flopped onto her. She wasn't beating him up... she pushed him over and was trying to wake him up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please turn off your cell phones and pagers. Two of our cast members have PMS and one was a college kickboxing champion."
- from the beginning of "Boobs! The Musical"

Do you know any nomads? Are there many these days? Am I a nomad? The dictionary defines a nomad as "a person with no fixed residence who roams about; a wanderer." I don't exactly roam/wander... but I have been moving around a bit. Uprooting myself from Hong Kong to live and study in the UK, and then again when I came to the US. I don't know for sure where I'm going to be 5 or 10 years from now (although I guess I have some power over that... just how much, I don't know).

Why don't more people adopt a nomadic lifestyle? There might be language barriers in the new country. There could be massive culture shock. There could be fewer opportunities. The traveller(s) would grow somewhat distant from their family and old friends ("distant" isn't really the right word... it's more like you grow in a different direction and develop a different outlook/perspective and personality). You may lose touch with the places you have lived in before. There are issues/problems that arise that you could not have anticipated. Things are not as straightforward when you don't have roots.

What I am a bit sad about is that when I come across international people, they are just about always of the predominant ethnicity of their home country. That's not a bad thing. I just wish people were more jumbled up.

"There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer."
- Gertrude Stein

I understand why people wear clothing of a particular sports team, college, rock band, etc. It shows your taste, your choice, and where your loyalties lie. It's pretty rare to find people wearing clothing of a corporation that isn't a uniform (i.e. a sweatshirt with the company name/logo)... but there are some people that do that. Fashion aside, this is quite peculiar. Particularly when the corporation is "Waste Management"... for some reason I didn't want to get too near that person on the subway today...

Why does preparing starches/carbs take SO long??? Boiling rice or pasta or cooking potatoes takes so long. Nothing else takes that long (I don't like to cook my meat till it's rock hard or my veggies till they are falling apart). It's making my gas bill go mad high! Plus it really draws out the time it takes for me to cook a meal. Why can't everything be like ramen? Ramen is so quick. Incidentally, I thought about ramen cuz today I saw and capitalized on a great deal: 10 packs of ramen for $1. But you know... I forgot to check the expiry date. However... this is the USA, I'm sure people would get into a lot of trouble if they sold stuff that's expired. What's very shrewd is that some food goods manufactured in India (and I'm sure other Asian places) do not even have expiry dates printed...

It's been predicted that in 2010, 35% of the U.S. population will be the age of 55 or older. That... is a LOT of old people. Older workers typically occupy the best-paid jobs, so that prevents the hiring or blocks the advancement of younger workers. Maybe when they all start retiring there's going to be a huge demand for people to fill their shoes. In the mean time... I'm not gonna stress out. I'll just finish my Masters, get some work experience, write a book, go for a black belt in taekwondo, pick up aikido, do what I like doing, and keep warm. But... what if the old people have no intention of retiring any time soon? They have better health in general than old people did before. Also, maybe they worry that social security will be cut, or that their pensions are too skimpy to cover their expenses. Over the past 5 years I'm sure they've lost a lot on the stock market too.

What makes animals/people bite the hand that feeds them?

I have a many questions about jeans. But first, the history... I know that after World War II there was a surplus of denim. People wore them in factories because they were very sturdy. They were, however, not very comfortable. I know that Levi's... being pretty entrepreneurial somehow made them trendy and so they became popular (I think they might have given a few pairs to Elvis to wear).

So, what is America's enduring obsession with jeans? And why are 99% of them blue? Why not other colors? Over time, they have been getting more and more comfortable - but even now, aren't softer materials still more comfortable than denim? Why do people like to wear them so often? Why is it that in such an “individualistic” culture, people like to dress generically, like clones? People are more agreeable that way. Also, maybe it's a laziness thing - don't take risks with certain items of clothing, a jeans-go-with-everything mentality.

What is it with girls wearing tight jeans? Like, REALLY tight ones? Surely it can't be comfortable. Plus it must be a nightmare getting into and out of them. Maybe it's worth the discomfort cuz it highlights their curves/butt, shows off their legs, and they feel better or get treated better. But what is it with fat girls wearing tight jeans? Why do they do that? I do see some fat people in other countries, but NONE of them wear tight jeans. That's smart.

I am guilty of possessing a pair of non-baggy, dark blue jeans. But unlike other people who wear these kind of jeans, I wasn’t a sheep following the herd. I bought my pair off a cart in a market in the Philippines for the equivalent of US$3 or 4 about 4 years ago. At that time people weren’t wearing dark blue jeans, and baggy ones were still in for guys. I was trying to be different. And what happens? Everyone copies me…

It's not often that after coming out of a class, your classmates come up to you and thank you for your comments...

When your friend finds/steals a full bottle of bacardi at a club, it's not necessarily a good thing. You know you can't take it out without getting caught. So, it means everyone gets a bit drunker than they intend to.

How important is music to you? What does it do for you or to you? Is it genuinely important to you, or is it just something to fill the silence of a car ride, a work-out, or some other background thing? Is popular music good in itself - can it be divorced from its connotations of sexiness, wealth, trendiness, coolness, etc?

If you're walking around an airport looking for the gate for your flight to Florida, don't bother looking at the numbers/signs. Once you see the collection of old people sitting together, you'll know you've come to the right gate! I knew Florida has a lot of old people... but it's a bit funy when you're flight is full of senior citizens.

There's this man who's been living in the Paris airport for nearly 15 years. You can read about him here (you might need to sign up on NYTimes.com). What is really up with that? Does he really have nowhere to go, or nothing better to do? What point is he trying to make? Even if he's not trying to make a point, what is he really about? What does he represent? Is he just being silly/stupid? Or is there something to living in a departure lounge and seeing hundreds of people pass by every day? Is there something significant about the whole "lost identity, bureaucratic limbo and persistence"... or is just all BS? On the one hand, this guy could be really cool - shunning the rest of society and defining his own (and very original!) course of life. On the other hand, he might not have a clue of the implications of his actions, and he therefore doesn't really deserve my attention/admiration/respect.

Ghetto Booth Dancing
I just don't get it. You go to a club and they're playing reggaeton (Spanish-Reggae music) and there are all these people "dancing" to it. Only, they're not dancing so much as they are gyrating their hips/butt into one another. To me this is more fornication than dancing. But I guess my reaction/perception is cuz of a cultural bias. I'd have problems going up to strangers (or strangers coming up to me) to initiate that (or any) sort of "dancing"... but for some, that's exactly what they come to the club for. I just wonder what people around the world would think if they caught a glimpse of how people "danced" here. Even people from more liberal or Westernized countries.

I wonder if they'll make anything out of this "bacterial battery" technology.

Did you know that international students in the US cannot do more than 1 online course per semester? The US government is paranoid about the whereabouts of internationals. Their reasoning is that if students only take 1 online course, that means that they'll be on/near campus more often. What's the big deal? If people are going to be criminals or terrorists, then they're going to do that regardless if they are in 1 or 4 online courses.

International Students are only allowed to work up to 20 hrs/week on-campus during the school year (unless they apply for something called Curricular Practical Training - which is a job specifically in their field, and is required for a course). There is one circumstance whereby the student will be able to work off-campus in a field unrelated to their program. INS provides work authorization based on "severe economic hardship" caused by unforseen financial difficulties beyond the student's control (e.g. substantial fluctuation in the value of currency or exchange rate, unexpected changes in the financial condition of the student's source of support, inordinate increases in tuition and/or living costs, substantial medical bills, etc). This "provision" is far from good. What real difference is it going to make? Even if the student gets to work off-campus, they still can't work over 20 hrs a week. The most ironic thing: to apply for the "Severe Economic Hardship Provision"... you have to pay.

Someone I know from my college, who lives across the street from me, was robbed yesterday. While she and her roommates were out during the day (at work, or whatever), someone got into their apartment and took a bunch of stuff. They didn't break the locks, and there was no sign of tampering. Could they be really good at picking locks? Or could they have had the keys?

This morning I helped her move stuff out of the apartment and take it to her boyfriend's place downtown. I wondered what she felt like. She lost her jewelery box, which had lots of gifts from people, and her cds. I wondered what would bring her to want to move out of the apartment, since, a) it's probably not going to be robbed again any time soon, and b) she has to look for some other place to live.

This news prompted me to buy another deadbolt for my door and to install it quickly.

This morning I've come to the realization that cockroaches have a sense of humor. Let me explain...

After brushing my teeth I walked to my room. I noticed a still, medium-sized (less than 1 inch) cockroach on it's back in my living room. It wasn't moving. I know that cockroaches are extremely resilient creatures. In fact, if you chop the head off of one, it'll continue to live for up to 24 hours (and then it'll die only of starvation). So, I looked at it for a while, and gently blew some air on it. The guy started wriggling it's legs. I was then presented with a dilemma. Should I wack the guy, dirty my slippers and make a mess on my floor, which I'll have to clean up? Or, should I pick it up with a tissue and throw it and the tissue in the toilet? Generally, I reserve wacking for live guys - I HAVE to wack them, there's no other way (I don't believe in sprays - they don't work well, and they're not good for us to breathe). While I was deciding what to do, I took my Windex and gave it two squirts. I figured the ammonia would do something to it. It wriggled about some more... I wondered if I was torturing it. I decided I should try to pick it up in the tissue. When I put the tissue over it, the guy, I guess, pushed against the tissue, and got onto its legs. It started running away. I thought to myself... this cockroach has really been f**king with me! All along it was fit enough to run away! Why was it lying on its back? Anyways, I gave it a wack, but it wasn't very well placed. It went on its back again, and was STILL wiggling about. This time I took no chances. I placed the tissue over it and quickly gave it a couple more wacks. Then, I took the mess to the toilet and flushed it away. Then, I cleaned the floor (hooray for Windex) and washed my hands.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
- Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

US companies don't do a good job of preparing employees and their families for overseas assignments. According to a paper in "Academy of Management Executive" the failure rates for American expatriates is higher than for European and Japanese expatriates. I wonder why this is the case. Maybe Americans are less likely to understand and respect cultural and business norms of their host countries. After all, many people around the world hold a stereotype that Americans believe the world revolves around them. America exports its popular culture and its value system, and at the same time it's largely impervious to outside influence. So, what should/can be done about this?

The Irony of "Pleasant" Smells
Anthropologist Desmond Morris wrote in his book, The Naked Ape, that body odor was intended to arouse the opposite sex. Why did society decide that these smells were unpleasant? Morris wrote that they were too overtly sexual. To back up that statement, he cited a study that showed that children don't perceive BO as unpleasant. It's ironic then that we wash our powerful sexual scents to reapply scented deodorants, soaps, shampoos, perfumes, etc. Why did this pattern of behavior start? Morris thought that in modern culture, we have to be carefully monitor our sexual arousal - a little arousal in the form of a perfume is pleasant and aids in reproduction, but too much (i.e. "raw" odors straight from the body) are too distracting and get in the way. A person who smells socially acceptable is more appealing to a potential partner than one who smells... earthy.

The Paradox of Tall Skinny Girls
You see them in magazine ads. You see them walking up and down catwalks. If you notice one at a bar/club/restaurant or on the street/subway you look. Society likes tall skinny girls. Why? What's good about being a tall skinny girl (or being with one)? It doesn't really make sense to me. I'm sure a tall skinny girl won't make a very good lover - they're very bony. I have about as much T&A as they do (i.e. not very much). They're probably not very nice to hold. So why does society deem tall skinny girls attractive? Is it because they are rare, not common? Guys who go after tall skinny girls (because of how they look) are involved in a huge scam or self-deception. In the bedroom they may be counting their lucky stars that they're with a model-chick... which is probably quite a turn-on. But simultaneously... it can't really feel that good being with a bony, flat girl. Men have been taken over by an illusion (and I'm glad I can see through it). This is just one little problem though, the tip of the iceberg. The problem is society's preference for style over substance.

This sucks: My TV smells during/after use. It's new. Is there something wrong?

This is cool:
"Good taste is the enemy of creativity"
- Pablo Picasso

I was eating a fruit yoghurt and wondered why it had a metallic taste. I realized that the spoon I was using had it's own taste... that can't be a good thing... cutlery/silverware isn't supposed to have its own taste!!! (although that'd be a pretty ingenious if they could regulate the flavors) The moral of the story... do not buy cutlery sets from a dollar store.

I wrote a post yesterday, and wasn't too happy with it. I did click to publish it... but it didn't publish and I lost what I wrote. I didn't feel like writing it again. That was kinda profound cuz maybe, somewhere, something didn't want me to publish what I wrote.

Today I've been thinking about what it means to waive out of a course at an institute of higher education. I'm trying to waive out of a "Understanding Behavioral Research" course. I realize that there's no such thing as a perfect piece of research... so no one can ever study this topic too much. But at the same time... I'm not pursuing this degree purely for educational enrichment. I'm on route to become a professional. I'm training to get skills and competencies... so if I can waive out of this course I can take an elective or an extra course in my concentration that'd do me more good than repeating this topic.

My TV arrived today. I ordered it from Best Buy, cuz they had no delivery charge and they had a nice deal on a Daewoo 27-inch flat-tube ($280). It came around 8:30 this morning. I told the guys to bring it in and put it down by our TV stand. I had to sign and initial a statement saying that the merchandise wasn't damaged while being delivered. I thought to myself as I was holding the guy's clipboard... how am I supposed to know that it wasn't damaged in delivery? The box looked ok, but how would I know that they didn't drop it, or hit it against something, or if the screen was cracked? I felt like telling him to wait while I open the box, pull the 90lb TV out, put it on the stand, and test it.... but, my flatmate was sleeping in the living room (his mom is visiting and she's taken his room). And, I saw on the guy's clipboard that he had a lot of other deliveries scheduled for the day. I'd only requested a drop-off service, not assembly/installation (that would cost money). So... the point is, I could have been thorough and checked things properly, but... due to some circumstances and certain traits of my personality, I didn't want to cause hassle. I just signed the thing and the guy left. I just have to assume that things are working. I'm pretty excited to get it out and test it... like a little kid and a new toy (I've never owned a TV before too)... but my flatmate is STILL sleeping! It's past noon and we weren't out partying last night.

I was walking around today, doing some errands, being bombarded by signs of all sorts. Signs from shops, restaurants, hairdressers, street vendors, homeless people, etc, etc. One really caught my attention today:
"Divorce: $299"
and then in the small print:
"(plus court fee)"
It made me wonder about divorces, cuz they're not a "product" you can buy at a store. It's not really a "service" like you get when you go to cut your hair. It's a process... technical, takes place over time, there's nothing fixed about it really. With a sandwich, haircut or bar of soap, you know pretty much what you're going to get. But a divorce? No two are alike, right? I don't know if it's something qualitatively different though - cuz you can argue that no two heads of hair or two sandwiches are EXACTLY alike...

Another concern of mine, which was reincarnated today, is why EVERYTHING with a price tag has to have some form of "99" on it (Deodorant: $2.99, Divorce: $299). Why can't anyone have the guts and print $3.00 or $300? Why is there such a culture of charging 99 cents or 99 dollars? Or even worse, 99 dollars AND 99 cents? When someone asks me, "how much did you buy that _______ for?" it always takes me twice as many syllables to say the price. I usually just round up. Why do I get frustrated over this? I come from a place where the smallest denomination is 10 cents. Yet you hardly ever see anything going for $__ and 90 cents. Or $_9.90. Also, there's no sales tax. So if you have the price for something shown, that ALL you have to pay for. You can count things out in advance before you go to the register. But that's a gripe for another time.

When you read "extra strength" on a package of something (a medicine, a cleaner, etc) does that make you more attracted to it? Why has there been a recent trend in "extra strength" products? Maybe you're getting more bang for your buck, but sometimes stuff that's too powerful and is not good for your system. Shouldn't we try to go for milder stuff? I'd steer clear of stuff that gives too strong a jolt to my system. I avoid caffeine for example. Getting used to substances, developing a tolerance and dependence on them is a sign of our weakness. We lose our integrity, our authenticity. By all means, if you have a headache, feel free to take a pill. If you have a cough, go suck on a lozenge. But be wary of the power that substances have over you.

Pigeons... they have plump bodies and small heads. They aren't so scared of people, so you can be pretty near them and they won't run or fly away. People have different feelings about them. Some think they are dirty and are basically rats with wings. I'm not like that. Sometimes I imagine bending down and picking one up (they're a perfect size to hold in my hands). Anyway, today I was wondering if I'd be swift enough to be able to kick one. It's kind of a comical image. I wouldn't want to hurt the bird. One day I might try to give one a little jab or poke with my foot. I don't intend to run up to it and boot it like I would a soccer ball in a free kick. That'd be really cruel and I'm sure if you run up to it it'd flee. For me... I'm just interested to see if it's possible to do a little hop and jab, just to see if it can be done. And well, to see the bird's reaction. The last thing I'd want to do is cripple/maim it. Perhaps it could be a test of my martial arts skills - to see if I can have enough dexterity and control to make contact with the bird, but not hurt it. I also wonder what people in the street would think if they saw me do it.

I'm nearly done settling in to my new apartment in NYC. So, hopefully I can start posting more consistently again... but for now, here's one thought that has intrigued me:

You gotta hate those people who wear sunglasses in the subway. Especially if the lenses are dark. When you're in the train, it's only natural to look at other people, see what they look like, what they're wearing, their hairstyle, etc. Maybe try to get an insight into what they are doing or who they are. The problem is, you're gaze isn't usually welcome. Neither are any glances. So I try to be subtle - I look with a healthy amount of curiosity. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like some kind of voyeur! I'm just interested in other people - and NYC has a good variety of interesting people. But back to these people wearing sunglasses... it strikes me as silly cuz we're all UNDERGROUND!!! (well, for most of the time) Where is the sun?! The UV rays?? A person wearing sunglasses in a train tells everyone else, "F*** you, if I want to look at you and stare all I want, I can and I will! I'll stare till I get bored of you!" The person wearing glasses can stare and ogle all they want. Whether or not they do, I think it's rude to wear glasses in the train. This doesn't really apply to people wearing sunglasses outdoors, under normal circumstances (although they can also stare and ogle). It's a subway thing, something I'll have to notice a few more times till I get used to it and for it not to bother me.

Yesterday I was at a grocery store and discovered that extra large eggs are cheaper than large eggs. There was no special on eggs, so why is that the case? Do they not taste as good? They probably mess up people's baking recipes (e.g. when they call for a certain number of eggs). I ended up buying medium eggs, cuz they were the cheapest of all and cuz eggs aren't so good for you.

Do not play Monopoly with anyone that goes to Wharton (the business school at UPenn). If you have to, don't go easy on them even though you seem guaranteed to win. Crush them when you have the chance! Don't go easy on them to make the game last longer and keep it interesting (i.e. be too unaggressive). Why? Cuz they just might make a fluke rebound and win a free dinner!

I'm currently looking for an apartment in Manhattan, one near Columbia University. I wonder... is there a perfect one out there for me (and my friend Kris)? One that's in great condition, has a great location, a great view and is great value? Or are we just gonna get some mediocre apartment that's decently priced, make it nice and that's it? Is the concept of a perfect apartment silly? Is the perfect apartment tangible?

What's perfect for me (and Kris) isn't perfect for other people, so not everyone's going for the exact same one. Plus, since my definition of "perfect" contains 4 "greats"... it's possible to have several apartments that fit the bill and are "perfect." So... in a way maybe there is a perfect apartment for us. On the other hand... how do we really know what's the best location, best condition, and what kind of apartment best suits our needs... can we truly ever know? And what about hidden problems? In light of this, everything is relative and so it's all quite arbitrary.

I wonder what kind of mindset I should adopt when going about my apartment search. However, theoretical frameworks about the philosophy of apartment searching aside... what's important is that I don't forget the basics like checking that all the utilities work, and that the fixtures are good and that kind of stuff.

"The best thing about New York is that there are 5-star hotels everywhere that you can take a s**t in."
- Baiku
("and you can also get free breakfast and drinks if you are dressed well and pretend to be a guest")

Nowadays (at least in the stores that I've been in) it's so rare to find toothpaste that isn't "whitening" or soap that isn't "antibacterial"... 5 years ago these properties of soap and toothpaste were a lot rarer. Everyone knows that too many antibacterial things are bad because the bacteria will develop resistances, but why have antibacterial stuff become so popular? And this tooth whitening stuff... do people know what's really going on with that? Don't the bleaches etch away at the outer layer of your teeth? Don't they remove your outer enamel to expose the lighter enamel and dentine? It's all a bit senseless since the natural color of teeth is ivory - not white. If I'm the only one not buying these products, then that's not going to do anything. Somehow, I need to get other people to think more about these things so they can also boycott them. I think once the limelight moves away from the evils of cigarette companies, people can start pointing fingers at and scrutinizing other corporations.

What have you done today to make your life better?

(While this sounds like a good mantra to think about every day, I have some reservations. How do you know if something is genuinely valuable? Also, if days go by and you haven't done anything of value, you'd eventually develop a psychosis.)

Sparkling/shiny lipsticks contain ground-up fish scales.

Photographs should be alive. They should be on display, or at least in albums which are easily accessible. If they are unsorted and in boxes, and no one looks at them or remembers them, then there's almost no point in having them.

Homophobic males are more sexually aroused by gay porn than males that have more ambivalent attitudes.

What is it with African American males and athletic wear? Why do they always have to wear sweats, caps, sneakers, basketball/football jerseys, headbands, etc? And what is it with the really baggy clothes and bling bling? I know I'm generalizing a bit... but non-professionals aside, they all seem to dress this way. Why do they dress like this? Is their masculinity so frail that if they don't dress like they are athlete, or don't dress in clothes that occupy twice as much space as their own bodies, they'd be ridiculed by other black men?

Whoever chucked a whole bunch of Maxim and FHM for recycling... thanks for giving me more stuff to read! I just finished "The Sexual Life of Catherine M" which was really interesting. If you don't know who she is, she's a French art critic who has had a LOT of sex in her life, with a LOT of different people (she only remembers/knows 49). It was pretty crazy, but it was very genuine and personal. I respect that because often the stuff that people write doesn't relate to them essentially. My next read, apart from my textbook on Organizational Change, should be Sun Tzu's "The Art of War."

Faith requires passion, and passion is not something we can learn. We have to experience it ourselves, or else we do not understand it at all. (A lesson from Kierkegaard's "Fear and Trembling")

Why is there always some guy with an abnormally deep voice talking in every movie trailer?

I think squirrels are really cute. I like it when they hop about, stand and eat stuff, climb on things, etc. Today there was one outside the apartment on the landing. I could see him through the sliding door. I thought this was a bit odd since we live on the third floor. I didn’t give too much thought to it. After a little while I heard noises, so I hurried to the door and opened it. I saw that the squirrel tore open the rubbish bag that was lying out there and was treating himself to the lid of a container of Godiva chocolate-raspberry ice cream! I didn’t know whether to be amused or annoyed (since it spread our trash around the landing). But now I understand why some people think squirrels are just rats with bushy tails…

Why do so many guys want to be jacked? I understand why action movie stars need to be big and muscular. I understand why professional athletes need it. But who else really needs to be huge?

In the US male singers/rappers *need* to be fit and muscular as well. If you think about it, it's quite ironic. If they are singers/rappers then they should be known primarily for their music and how they sound. How they look should be of minor consequence. In other countries popular singers can be fat, old and bald. They still possess the most important attribute to be a good singer/artist - their voice. Many probably can't dance to save their lives. What is it with Americans and the obsession with appearance? I know they have to sell their look/image/lifestyle/whatnot. But sometimes it's so perverse that the importance placed on appearance supplants real talent, real ability to sing. How many popular singers actually write their own lyrics and music? Are they really artists? On a bad day I'd just want to slap one of them!

A related problem I have is that people who look good get unfair privileges in our society. Surely we should have greater value for and pay more attention to people who do good things, or are smart and talented. Instead we just drool over images in the media and aspire to be good looking and jacked. It's a shallow preoccupation. If people exercise or diet for their health, or for a love of sport or some other pursuit (e.g. martial arts, dance) then that's completely different. I don't have a problem with that. I highly commend it.

What makes my leg sexually appealing to a dog?

The other day I learned that in Spanish there's an expression that people say. Translated it's "did I sleep with you last night?" At first glance it's crude and kinda weird. It's said whenever someone doesn't wish you good morning, because typically husbands and wives (or people that sleep together) don't wish each other good morning. It's meant to be a bit sarcastic.

People in NY are very forceful and direct. When I move there, I don't want to get used to people treating me in that way. I also don't want to become someone who treats people like that. One comical example is an ice cream seller who shouts: "HEY ICE CREAM!" in a really menacing voice. They don't try to make something like ice cream appealing and sweet and for the kids.

"The course of true love never did run smoothe."
-William Shakespeare

Travelling makes it tough to post on a consistent basis. Not much profound to say right now. Just been taking a lot of things in. DC is very cultural and is a very good "showpiece" for the country (i.e. The Mall). I'm in NYC now, and I feel like an ant. I used to feel more natural in crowds before. I wonder why I changed. It's more than just being away from Hong Kong for so long.

Being caught in a strong hailstorm in a car is one of the freakiest things ever. You never know if one particularly large piece of ice will break the windshield or one of the windows and then allow hundreds upon hundreds to bruise you or cut you open. But what's interesting is that during the hailstorm I had a better grasp of what was going to happen in comparison to my grasp of what's going to happen after I graduate on Sunday. I don't even know where I'm going to be and what I'll be doing next week. Today during the Baccalaureate service the president of the university told us that we should use whatever difficulties or obstacles we face (in fact, it's Michael Caine's life motto). It's a good mindset because times are hard/difficult and it's a way of seeing the good in the bad. Right now there's a lot of bad... in my life, and in general. But I should take these things as challenges, and not as threats. The stuff that's going on in my life isn't inherently bad. It's more that things are going from certain/predictable/secure/comfortable to completely the opposite. It's tough to change from something that you're used to.

Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat. What do you need to do? You need to change your mindset. Don't perform roles. Don't be absorbed or run from things that are essentially petty (most of our life takes on this form). Take hold of things and remember that it's the process, not the result. What is important is how we do things, not what we end up doing.

The value of discussing things in university is not so that we can remember what so-and-so wrote 20 years from now... but to trigger our critical impulses. In the future, we may have flashes of insight or anxiety when we think about particular issues. It's not really a pathological anxiety though. It's quite existential. We should see ourselves in some of the things that we learn about in university, since we're all involved in human existence. We should have new vocabulary and new perspectives. Anxiety happens when things that seemed familiar and simple turn out to be deeper or more complex. In existentialism, the greatest legacy is recognition, at least for a moment, that we've stopped and are forced to confront something we don't want to. There is discomfort. What we do is then up to us. There is a tainture of consciousness, it can come back and infect us, and lead to changes in a way that is interesting or revealing to us.

Have you ever been told that you're like one of those mechanical horses at the amusement parks that take quarters?

"Your application is incomplete because your missing your TOEFL test score and a second letter of reference."
[the contents of an email I received from a certain university this morning]

The app was due over 3 months ago... and I'm only getting this now!? And why would I need to take the TOEFL (Test Of English as a Forgeign Language)? I may be an international student, but English is my first language! In fact, whoever wrote this CLEARLY needs to take it since it should read: "because YOU ARE missing your..."

If you had all of your physical/material needs and desires met would you be satisfied?

Your answer would be "yes" if you didn't have any spirit. There are limits of physical desires, they aren't a full reflection of human capacity. Spirit is about transcending desire. It is a want for something more, for something that is not expressable in terms of satisfying desires. Spirit is a perpetual challenge, and if we understand the challenge, then we understand the need for education.

Do I do a lot for the dorm because I'm diligent and caring, or cuz I'm a big sucker? I wonder who else at Duke has worked on 6 annual review reports for their living group.... (they're submitted biannually).

I think it's very rare for someone to reach my age without having found a hairstyle that they like.

Tonight was my last official tae kwon do practice at Duke. Kinda sentimental. It was also the first time this year I got a "if I don't see you again, take care and all the best for the future" spiel. I have a feeling I'll be getting/giving a lot of these. They're rather depressing.

I'm losing the beard tonight. I haven't shaved since mid-December, although I trim a bit now and then with a clipper so it's not huge. I liked not having to shave. I think shaving, whether it be legs, face is essentially for other people (providing you're skin doesn't get irritated by stubble). Why am I shaving now? Few reasons. The main reason is that pretty soon I'll be taking lots of pics in a cap and gown... and I think these pics will go to lots of my relatives and will be preserved really well. So... do I want this beard of mine immortalized? There are a couple other reasons too. Look out for a post on my thoughts after having shaved.

There is this soup called "Italian Wedding" and I had it with my dinner tonight. I've never had it before. It's made with chicken broth, small round pasta balls (I don't know what they're called), spinach and sausage. It was quite nice. I don't get why it has its name. Is it a traditional soup they serve at the weddings, or is there symbolism of a marriage within the soup? Assuming it's the latter, here's the scheme I came up with:

The sausage represents the male (no explanation necessary).
The spinach is the female, since it's soft, flowing and better looking than the sausage (I apologize that I'm appealing to gender stereotypes, but there's no other way).
The tons of little pasta balls are the guests at the wedding, since there are so many and don't really contribute to the flavor of the soup (at a wedding the guests aren't essential for the marriage to be valid).
The final piece is the person that unites the couple... which could be the broth, since it is intermingled with everything in the soup... or it could be me, since I ate the soup and everything is united inside my stomach.

Btw I'm assuming this is a heterosexual marriage. The vegetarian version (with vegetable broth and NO sausage) would be called "Lesbian wedding." The spinach can be removed for an all-meat soup for a guy-guy wedding.

Fish cough.

Today's subject is death, which is often considered taboo. I'll try to treat the subject in a mature fashion, I'm sorry if I'm offending or belittling anyone.

Why is it that in death eveyone suddenly becomes a wonderful person? After death everyone seems to shower the deceased person with praise. I'm bringing this up today because the first heading in today's Chronicle (the student newspaper here) was "Beloved professor loses cancer battle"... without even reading the article I wondered why have I never seen "%$#@ing bastard professor loses cancer battle" or a similar heading. I read half the article and yeah, this professor was a good person... but I just wondered why there are no negative or neutral things written about the deceased.

Unless they were evil, it's inappropriate to slander someone who died. Is it because it's inappropriate to slander someone when they cannot defend themselves? Is it just a poor taste mentality? I suppose that people that aren't "beloved" don't get articles written about them... perhaps that's why it's very rare to see articles that aren't positive.

Last semester a girl who lived in my dorm, Maggie Schneider, died. She was in a bad traffic accident and died in hospital a day or so later. I didn't know her too well, but her friends in the dorm wanted me to be one to deliver a eulogy at her memorial service (since I've been the dorm president all year). I was one of the few people who spoke at the service. I tried to be sincere and objective. I talked about the aspects of her character that stood out, and why people in the dorm liked her. I wanted to say something nice and positive. I guess saying/hearing/reading nice things is helpful for coping with the bereavement. One thing that I remember about speaking at the chapel that day was that Maggie's mother, who was sitting in the front row, had this really strained smile the entire time I was talking. It was nice for her to hear how her daughter had an impact on other people.

I forgot to acknowledge the 1 year anniversary of my blog on April 5th. My very first post (which you can still see in the archives) was:
"Don't apply a band aid to a festering wound that will only heal with deeper cleaning and some carefully placed sutures."

I wonder about the frame of mind I was in when I posted that. Was it a mentality that I applied to myself at that point, something that came up in a psychology class, or just something nice I heard/read/thought? Whatever the answer is, it doesn't matter at this point. I like this blog because it's a chronicle of interesting stuff I've come across or thought about over the past year. It's a window you can look through to see who I am. People often shift who they are from year to year... but what they put in writing endures. You can tell a lot about a person by what they write. This blog might give clues for the answer to the elusive question: "who are you?" When asked that question, people will usually reply by saying what they do (e.g. I am a student), or what they are interested in (e.g. I am a martial artist), or who they are in relation to other people (e.g. I am a son, a brother, etc)... but they never really get to the root of what the question is asking.

My mailbox is a very important thing to me right now. I check it nearly every day (cuz I'm expecting to hear back from grad schools at any time). Today I opened the box and was supremely delighted, almost ecstatic, because I saw a big envelope in it! I thought it was the acceptance package from Columbia! I was ready to yell out a huge "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAH!!!!" But alas, it was some annoying thing from Duke... the "senior survey" and Baccalaureate service ticket info.

I am amazed by how much power a little box has over me, how it can alter my mood so much, and how I'm drawn to it just about every day.

Everclear should be renamed "Evilclear" or something like that. It's really toxic stuff. It's 90% alcohol and made from corn. It's really strong, and in punch you can't really taste it (I was convinced that the funny taste was just the artificial coloring/flavoring). If you've had a bit to drink, then you really can't taste it. It's also evil because it gives you a hangover... not necessarily cuz you end up drinking a lot, but because it has some not-so-nice ingredients. Other stuff, good stuff, doesn't give you one. Everclear is definitely an "evil" drink... along with Mad Dog. If you don't know what Mad Dog is, don't worry. It means you're not ghetto.

Plato thought play-acting was bad and had no place in the education of the Guardians of society. He thought that if you take on roles, the roles will take over you and will have an impact on your soul. Absorption of fictional accounts can dull your judgement, lead to self-deception and encourage emulation of undesirable things. I wonder what my drama teacher thinks about this. I wonder if the acting I do has a negative impact on me. If anything, I think it's very positive.

A chef's hat has 100 folds to signify that they can prepare an egg 100 different ways.

If you're going to sleep through a lecture why bother going in the first place? If you don't want to be there, then why be there? You should always do what you want to do, or else you are wasting your time. If you're going to attend the lecture, then have the decency to pay the minimum amount of respect to the prof/lecturer and stay awake.

I was catching a bus to go to class on East campus and I passed a guy from my drama class who said, "what's up Rosh, you stud?" When I got to East and walked to class, my philosophy professor came and walked beside me and said, "how's it going, son?"

While it is cool to be referred to as a "stud" and endearing that a professor calls you "son"... these terms didn't feel quite right. The guy that called me a "stud" is a big football player, so it was kind of a joke, or just meant to really catch my attention... this is the kind of spirit we're supposed to foster in our drama class - to be awake/alive all the time. Secondly, even though I've taken multiple classes with this philosophy professor, I always go to class, and he likes my work and contribution to the class... him calling me "son" is just weird. We're so different, how can we have such a close connection? Maybe we do, I don't know.

And a random side note... at some point on my little trip to class, I got some birdshit on my thigh. Hmm... I wonder what this all means... "stud," "son" and birdshit...

My bank in the US gives me 0.25% APR. That's absolutely ridiculous. That's like NOTHING. It's a big joke... Why do they even bother giving me any at all?

Fishbowls with cute little fishies, glass beads at the bottom and a stargazer lilly floating on the top make GREAT centerpieces for dinner tables at a formal occasion. They're cooler than flowers to look at. I don't think they'd work so well at a Chinese banquet though, cuz they'll have to be at the center of the revolving circular glass... and I know they don't like being swooshed around. I think I severely traumatized the fish in our centerpiece when we brought them back from the dinner. I wonder how they took riding in the car. When I put them down on a table after the ride they were going crazy...

My unconscious is driven by peace, as opposed to curiosity, imagination, kindness, love, resistance, self-protection and sexuality. An inkblot test requiring waaaaaay too many responses told me that. The test seems to assume that these are the only 8 things that our unconscious can be driven by. I wonder if we can be equally influenced by more than one drive.

SARS is really worrisome. Where I am (NC, USA) people don't know much about it. I guess they'll start caring more once Americans start dying. Till then the war will dominate the news.

CNN sucks. I couldn't find anything about SARS in 2 minutes of searching for it. Although if I wanted to find out about the war, I could have probably accessed 50,000 articles/links about it in that time. BBC is better I think........ I mean............ holy s%*& just check this out!

I went to blogspot and thought about what to post on my blog today. I've been thinking about it for some time now, and I've decided not to post anything.

April Fools! (This is, of course, a real post)

Three guys here were arrested last night and charged with assault. One of them is the Duke Student Government president, one the captain of the varsity wrestling team, and the last a guy that I used to have philosophy class with. It was very shocking to read the news, and to hear that there were blood stains on the ground (which have already been washed away). The three of them are in this one fraternity and the fight had to do with a frat rivalry. I don't know what the most disturbing part of the incident is. That it happend a few minutes walk from my room? That it was committed by relatively intelligent and fairly well-to-do individuals? That the current student government leader, the supposed/alleged ultimate role model on campus was involved? I don't understand the inner mechanisms of a frat rivalry, nor do I claim to know exactly why the incident happened... but my pondering on the issues have reminded me of something Gandhi said: "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Check dis out, Ali G's translata.
Check dis if you want to see what my blog would be like if it was written by Ali G.

"I drank to drown my pain, but the damned pain learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good behavior."
- Frida Kahlo
(btw, check out the movie FRIDA... it's very good)

There are 1 million ants for every person in the world... so on this planet there are around 6 million billion ants!

On Sunday I posted about the Japanese culture possibly being one that is characterized by repression... but I honestly don't really think that it is. The Japanese just APPEAR repressed to outsiders (and even to other Japanese). In the home people can be casual and loose etc. For example if a young boy cries in public, in America the mother would say, "hey sonny toughen up, don't cry!" In Japan the mom would say, "don't cry outdoors where everyone can see you." When they go home the little boy can cry his eyes out or whatever. Which culture is really the repressed one, eh?

Floating vs. Having Roots
Authenticity requires grounding in a particular environment - if you have roots the things you do reflect on them. If you are floating, you might lose your individuality in the quest for identification with all humanity. At the same time I want to be authentic, I also want to float, to be cosmopolitan. Cosmopolitanism is loyalty to the widest possible constituency. We should separate ourselves from the lure of that with which we are familiar. We shouldn't see our way as the only way or the best way.

On a side note... what is the difference between cosmopolitanism and multiculturalism?

It's irresponsible to continue our daily activities unaware of what's going on around us. I'm pleased that the topic of the war has been brought up in 3 out of 4 of my classes. The only class that it hasn't been brought up in is history of ancient philosophy.... although the day that war was declared we had class, and I was absent and taking the GREs - so maybe it was brought up there too. I don't think other people are as fortunate on this campus.

If people don't discuss and question things in college, where else in the world can we expect people to discuss things? I'm talking about good intellectual discussion, not a dinner-table discussion after watching the news on TV (cuz, I really think TV coverage is bad - read below to understand why). Tonight I'll be going to a panel discussion sponsored by the University featuring 5 pretty distinguished political science professors.

The worst thing is if we don't question things, if we adopt a kind of fundamentalism/dogmatism. It doesn't matter if you are for or against the war. What matters is that you don't have a position based on unreflective certainty or accept the opinion of another blindly.

Women in Japan like to be tied up, according to a friend of mine (who will remain annonymous for now). He claims that it has to do with women being repressed in Japanese culture. Does that make sense? Is it true?

If you kill your clone, is it murder or suicide or both?

There's supposed to be this bigass walk-out tomorrow at noon. Everyone in the community has been asked to stop whatever they're doing at noon and have a rally against the war. The main idea is to signal to everyone that if war is declared it's not just an ordinary day (whether you are pro-war or anti-war). There are actually more than 50 college campuses that are planning walkouts. Anyways.... do you know what I'll be doing tomorrow at noon? The GREs! And if I walk out on that, I'll be wasting $115 and will possibly destroy my chances of getting into grad school this year!

So while everyone is going to be reflecting on issues and discussing them, I'll be trapped in front of a computer taking a test. Oh well... I trust my concentration will be ok.

Hey, did you know Snapple have come out with a banana drink! It's called "Go Bananas" and it tastes pretty good. I was a bit disheartened to learn that there's more pear juice in it than banana puree...

War represents a failure. People have a responsibility to pursue every remedy short of war. Even if you are not fighting, you are implicated if war is fought in your name. War always has unexpected, unintended consequences that are beyond people's control. These consequences may take decades to evolve, they are never immediate. Therefore our future is at stake. There is a possibility that our lives might radically change. War is the most serious decision that a government can make, it is not like a policy decision - it is qualitatively different.

Resist the temptation to be glued to your TV to get the news about this war. TV news is hysterical, superficial and amounts to little more than cheerleading. It is a false ideal. There is very little understanding. There are better alternatives to gain a thoughtful perspective on what is happening. TV supplants efforts to find understanding.

Too much on my mind today. Is there really more on my mind today than on normal days? Or does it just feel like that cuz I've been on break for a while and classes (& activities, etc) resumed today? There really is a lot going on... in my life, in the world...

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
(where does that come from?)

It seems that all of us desperately need a story to tell people when they ask us about what we did over summer, or what we plan to do after graduation. It often feels like the measure of one's worth or status is dependent on how good these stories are. When we were younger it could be considered cool to say that we did jack all summer and just had fun. But when you're older, if you said that you'd be considered pretty lame. The same goes for plans after graduation. If you don't have a job or a grad school course lined up, then you're in limbo. You're like a second-class citizen. It shouldn't be the case, but that's what our social environment tells us. Right now I don't have a job or grad school lined up... but I'm trying to hold onto my integrity. I do, however, have a plan/story that I tell people, which is somewhat of a cop out to the real struggle with uncertainty. It takes strong character to tell people that you don't know what you're doing, and you're kinda directionless. And, more importantly, where is the character/integrity if people just try to rush to be herded into this or that profession/school like sheep? Struggle is good... as long as it's not pathological. Having no struggle is the worst thing.

Can you think of any professions where, for safety reasons, you have to work naked? I read that if you handle liquid nitro, you have to work naked for safety. It evaporates off skin instantly, but if it gets on your clothes it'll stick to you and give you instant frostbite.

"Living in denial of the world's problems is just about the only way to have fun anymore."
- Tamsen Turner

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
[he has a nice memorial in DC, which I got to see this weekend]

How often do you take a break from what you do in your day? Normally people are occupied doing one thing at a time, and move from one thing to the next. Even a break can be seen as part of this pattern. Do you ever stop and step outside? It's not really stepping outside if you are still thinking about what you have to do, or if you are remembering thoughts or things you did. I'm talking about really stepping outside. It's hard to explain. But, I'll describe what I recently experienced.

I was walking back from Central campus after a high-carbohydrate dinner (I think that puts people in a somewhat relaxed state). I went through the gardens and was listening to some soft/ambient music off of my mp3 player. I reached the lake and noticed that there were a lot of ducks in it. An albino duck caught my attention. I stopped and started observing the ducks. I was trying to see if the albino duck was having problems fitting in with the others (it didn't really). I was wondering what exactly the ducks were doing. Some were paddling going around, others were standing in the mud on the banks. I was wondering if they were free to do what they wanted, or if they had limits. Stuff like that. Watching the ducks relaxed me. I spotted a bench, so I sat down. I stopped contemplating the ducks and just tried to connect with my senses. It's pretty refreshing. People don't normally do that. It makes you more awake. My mind started to wander back to the ducks, and to things that have been on my mind the last few days (things I did/said, things other people said, etc). I was losing this connection. I fought to get it back... it's not a natural thing - not in our society anyway. We're so accustomed to be on the go, always thinking about stuff, always doing stuff.

Why was I so analytical about the ducks? The ducks are a novelty, and my mind was restless. Why did I fight to be less curious about the ducks? Curiosity cuts us off from the vital connection with what we are looking at. Wandering minds and curiosity prevents us from taking real breaks from our day.

Sometimes tourists fall in love with a place and end up staying.

Excerpt from a Kamikaze pilot's cockpit reading ... 'At the very moment of impact: do your best. Every deity and the spirits of your dead comrades are watching you intently. Just before the collision it is essential that you do not shut your eyes for a moment so as not to miss the target. Many have crashed into the targets with wide-open eyes. They will tell you what fun they had.'

"A word is not a bird. Once on the wing, it can never be caught again."
-Russian proverb

We often have discrepancies between what we desire and what we are capable of achieving/obtaining. This discrepancy is a cause of frustration or disappointment to us. We should try to decrease the discrepancy (achieve more of an equilibrium) to reduce our frustration. There are two ways possible... to increase our strength/capacity or to decrease our desire/imagination. What should we do? Which is better? The natural instinct is to think that we should have ambition and strive to improve our abilities. There is, however, more merit in limiting our desires. Limiting our desires is a sign of our strength and reduces our dependency on things/people. Think about electricity generation... we need more electricity for the increasing number of people on the planet and appliances, etc... so should we generate more electricity? If we can reduce our demand for electricity that'd be a true sign of our strength, since we would show that we are not dependent on it.

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
- Mark Twain

[question asked to evolutionary biologist and author Richard Dawkins (author of "The Selfish Gene")]
Q: If, when you die, you find yourself unexpectedly at the Pearly Gates, what would you say to St Peter?
A: OK, I was wrong. But I was wrong for the right reasons. Those guys in there were right. But just look at their reasons.

[here's another thing he wrote... notice the slight contradiction here with his philosophy above?]
Reason convinces me that pain is only a brain mechanism warning me not to damage myself, so I should just ignore it. But I always want an anaesthetic when the dentist drills.

You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

Despot or Sexpot? Can you tell the difference between a selection of murderous, human rights-abusing dictators and some Hollwood porn legends, simply by examining their moustaches? (thanks to Kabir for suggesting this link... and I hope I'm not associated with either group of ppl cuz of my facial hair!)

My alarm went off around 10am this morning to wake me up early enough to go for class. The problem today was that for some reason I thought it was Friday, and I have no classes on Friday. So... I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep. I woke up a little while later and realized I'd made a silly mistake... I missed my class cuz I figured by the time I got ready and made it to East campus there'd probably only be 15 mins left. Fortunately I had read ahead (for once) and know about what was going to be discussed today. But that's not a real substitute for going to class. I'm still baffled by why I thought it was Friday... maybe it had something to do with what I was dreaming about just before the alarm went off?

"To be a warrior is to learn to be genuine in every moment of your life."
- Trungpa Rinpoche, Tibetan Buddhist Master

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates, in Plato's Apology

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing," on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote:
"Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote:
"Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

To the connection,
And to having fun...

Work like you don't need the money
Dance like you're not being watched
Love like you've never been hurt

(I don't remember where that comes from, or if it's complete)

I've been reading some David Mamet (he's a director and writes plays and screenplays). It's interesting stuff. He's not a fan of "schools" of acting or coaching. Coaching can teach you to focus energies on manipulating emotions and get rid of anxiety - but this is counterproductive. Anxiety is something that should be used in performance. It's a good thing because it makes the actor more courageous and the acting more genuine and powerful. You should deal with uncertainty, and face being uncomfortable. I think that's a challenge in life as well.... to try to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Everyone's looking for a quick sensation
Looking for love with no real dedication
What you feel is just a fraction
Cuz only love can give you deep satisfaction

- Abraham Bam Boogie's "Deep Satisfaction" (which I still haven't downloaded... no one seems to have it!!)

"The situation is hopeless, but not yet desperate."
- Russian proverb
(Why is this up here today? Well... I didn't quite make what I needed to on the GRE verbal section)

Q: What does a gay horse eat?

A: haaaaayy!

Gandhi used to drink his own urine and sleep naked with his niece?!?! Well... whether or not this stuff is true, it doesn't take away from his philosophies.

"If it takes too long, you're probably doing it wrong."
- my GRE book

What is a Renaissance Man? Am I one? I'm not satisfied with any one pursuit. I'm not satisfied with just one major (or even two). I'm not fully satisfied with the courses I take. I want everything together. I want an integration, a unity... to see everything in the widest context, to foster a sense that all things fit together. But there are pressures to stay within the limits - we're often locked at lower levels.

How do you define merit? Test scores and grades are never enough. Grades depend on the whims of teachers. And standardized tests? The best correlation for high SAT scores is wealth. There are many subjective judgements for merit and they come in many forms. Motivation, ambition, curiosity, capacity to take risks and originality are all crucial points, but there are no quantitative standards for these. True passion/spirit is hard to find in a written document. It's important for institutions to say they are selective, but it's a lie since they don't know how to define and measure merit. At the other end, we lie to ourselves when we are admitted because we believe we are qualified, and others aren't. What do any of you think about all this?
[BTW I'm talking about admissions to a liberal arts college, not to a technical institution or to some company or place that expects specific skills from you]

Do you ever wonder if other people perceive/sense things the way that you do? How do you really know if the red you see is the exact same color/shade that other people call red? Well... don't worry about that any more. It seem scientists have found a physiological basis for the perception of color. Although, we still haven't definitively solved the problem of how to really know that other minds exist, eh? How do we know we're not just dreaming up the whole world and everyone in it? All of you reading my blog might not even exist ;)

Tonight I ate beef voluntarily for the first time in around 10 years. It was a small chunk from Boik's taco, at the Dillo. I've been meaning to do this for a while because I've realized that there aren't any real reasons why I don't eat beef. In the beginning there were (cultural, religious, etc). Since then the reasons have lost all salience, and it's just been a habit for me not to. Anyways, onto what I thought about the experience... it was chewy and reminded me of lamb. The big question is, can I finish a whole steak taco? Will I even order one?

If you can't have your cake and eat it, eat it slowly and hope that there's more baking in the oven.

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, there's going to be one big-ass fight over where to set the thermostat."
- Jim Rosenberg

"The covers of this book are too far apart"
- Ambrose Bierce

Every guy should wear a cup when they spar in TKD. If this guy John did, then I wouldn't have hurt him as much when I accidentally kicked him in the privates today at practice. I was doing a turning side kick, but at the same time he was trying to kick my head... I had aimed for his lower stomach, but it struck a bit lower cuz of the kick he was doing... not nice. But he was ok after a little bit. There's a risk inherent with every physical activity... although actually, TKD is supposed to be pretty safe on the whole. When we spar we wear some pads and don't use full force. And most of the time we're just doing stuff in the air. Rarely with pads/bags.

I was the winner at "Zip, Zap, Zop" today! It's a game you play with a group of ppl standing in a circle. One person starts by pointing to another person and saying "zip." Then that person has to point to someone and say "zap." The person receving has to point to someone and say "zop." That continues, so it sound like "zip" "zap" zop" "zip" "zap" zop" etc... It gets fast and furious, and people are out if they say the wrong word, if they react when they aren't supposed to, or if they don't react. You have to be clear with your pointing, or else you're out too. So.... I won today. I beat everyone. The game lasted less than 10 minutes, we did it right at the start of class. The point? To bring us out of the everyday world, to bring us out of our existential suffering...? Funny how a simple kid's game can have a powerful effect on us *mature* people. But I'm sure none of us were thinking about any metaphysical stuff while we were playing!

Why did I like Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN? Well, for lot of reasons. I'll try to write some here, but I won't really be doing justice to everything I liked about it... Sincerity, humanity. Best friends that are always trying to beat each other, who have created a "manifesto" that bonds them. The cousin's wife hurting from a low point in her life, wanting an adventure with two young virile guys (how she has so much control over them). Frankness. Goofiness. Insecurity covered up by machismo. Sex dynamics: the sex was all eager, but the sensuality was there throughout. I liked how at times all the sound would drop away and the narrator would say something about the moment - it was sobering, but a powerful way to tell the story. And... I liked who I watched it with, I think that makes a difference.

I had my MP3 Player with me in my seminar yesterday and I remembered that it had some memory available. It records voice, so I had the idea of recording my voice while I was participating in class discussion. The point was to try to know what it is like to have the perspective of the other. We cannot view ourselves the way others do. Sometimes others can tell you things about yourself that you would never know. It's like a weapon: they have a perspective that is not in your control. They have a freedom that you cannot share. So... I recorded my voice. After class I listened to the recording and... I didn't really have a profound experience. I just thought I said "um" a lot. Do I really say "um" a lot in conversation? Maybe I said it more than I normally do because I was trying to explain some tricky ideas, or because I was conscious of the fact that I was recording my voice...?

"Just because there is a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score."
- a former Prism member (who I won't identify here) told me this

Most of us are circus performers in the sense that we have requirements and obligations, and if we change things we do so at our own peril. There is an incentive to perform under the existing strategies, but there are substantial losses.

Does my facial hair really make me look like Prince?!

What'll be the most memorable line from the "Matrix Reloaded"? And what is the most memorable line from the last one? I'm not sure, but these are good candidates:
"I know kung fu"
"There is no spoon"

I was at the gym today and saw a guy who was at taekwondo practice last night. As well as having taekwondo together I see him around the dorm on weekends sometimes. I said hey, and asked how his legs were doing (ie. if they were sore... cuz practice is just starting up this semester and we're not all in the best condition). He said "what was last night?" I replied... "taekwondo practice." Then he said I was confusing him for his (twin) brother. That is the freakiest thing that has happened to me in a while! It's weird... they're like clones. I do martial arts with one, and drink and hang out a bit with the other! I never knew that they were not the same person!! One guy's Kirk, the other Casey. I thought their names were kind of interchangeable, or one was a nickname, I never really questioned it. Probably cuz I didn't know them too well - just through TKD and other friends.

"To know the road ahead, ask those coming back."
- Chinese Proverb

Did you know the word "barbarian" was made to label people who talk funny (ie. they sound like they are saying "ba ba ba..." when they talk). I think it was the ancient Greeks that came up with it. I think that's pretty interesting. Lots of words have cool etymologies... but they are generally more obvious. For example, "lunatic" kind of refers to someone who is influenced by the moon (luna). "Handicap" refers to "hand-in-cap" (ie. a beggar) - cuz in the old days people who were crippled couldn't be of any use in society and could only beg.

"I feel like a slightly colorblind chameleon, never quite sure how well I'm blending in. And even when no one else in the room knows my secret, it's always with me: I'm forever waiting to be found out."
- some guy on what it's like to be an expatriate, in this month's United Airlines magazine.

"I got so depressed in Vietnam that I decided I didn't want to live anymore. So I swam out into the ocean as far as I could, and I got out there in the middle of all these sharks and barracuda and sea snakes, and I thought, What the f**k am I doing out here? I turned around and swam back as fast as I could. That was one of the most profound moments in my life."
- Craig Venter (molecular biologist)

I am now the proud owner of a guayabera!

I was all excited about Tarantino's new film, "Kill Bill"... but when I saw the trailer I was a bit let down. The action is senseless (although I know in the movie there'll be a reason for it). Also... I don't think Lucy Liu was a good choice - she looks kinda harmless and fake as a villain. Mad props for the Japanese schoolgirl with the ball and chain though!!!

1AD - Here, eat this root.
1000AD - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850AD - That prayer is superstition. Here, swallow this potion.
1940AD - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985AD - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000AD - That antibiotic is dangerous. Here, eat this root.