Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
- Herman Wouk

I wish I had an office that I could do a handstand in. An office that I could do a cartwheel in would be even better!

"Why did you tell them what I told you in confidence? That was private."

"It's ok. They are my [taekwondo] team mates. We touch each other with our feet."

You know you're in a position of significance in an organization when you can start engaging in insider trading.

"How do we get Zumbi to come back to capoiera?"

"We should take a pair of wet jeans and beat him with it until it's dry!"