We often have discrepancies between what we desire and what we are capable of achieving/obtaining. This discrepancy is a cause of frustration or disappointment to us. We should try to decrease the discrepancy (achieve more of an equilibrium) to reduce our frustration. There are two ways possible... to increase our strength/capacity or to decrease our desire/imagination. What should we do? Which is better? The natural instinct is to think that we should have ambition and strive to improve our abilities. There is, however, more merit in limiting our desires. Limiting our desires is a sign of our strength and reduces our dependency on things/people. Think about electricity generation... we need more electricity for the increasing number of people on the planet and appliances, etc... so should we generate more electricity? If we can reduce our demand for electricity that'd be a true sign of our strength, since we would show that we are not dependent on it.

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."
- Mark Twain

[question asked to evolutionary biologist and author Richard Dawkins (author of "The Selfish Gene")]
Q: If, when you die, you find yourself unexpectedly at the Pearly Gates, what would you say to St Peter?
A: OK, I was wrong. But I was wrong for the right reasons. Those guys in there were right. But just look at their reasons.

[here's another thing he wrote... notice the slight contradiction here with his philosophy above?]
Reason convinces me that pain is only a brain mechanism warning me not to damage myself, so I should just ignore it. But I always want an anaesthetic when the dentist drills.

You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

Despot or Sexpot? Can you tell the difference between a selection of murderous, human rights-abusing dictators and some Hollwood porn legends, simply by examining their moustaches? (thanks to Kabir for suggesting this link... and I hope I'm not associated with either group of ppl cuz of my facial hair!)

My alarm went off around 10am this morning to wake me up early enough to go for class. The problem today was that for some reason I thought it was Friday, and I have no classes on Friday. So... I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep. I woke up a little while later and realized I'd made a silly mistake... I missed my class cuz I figured by the time I got ready and made it to East campus there'd probably only be 15 mins left. Fortunately I had read ahead (for once) and know about what was going to be discussed today. But that's not a real substitute for going to class. I'm still baffled by why I thought it was Friday... maybe it had something to do with what I was dreaming about just before the alarm went off?

"To be a warrior is to learn to be genuine in every moment of your life."
- Trungpa Rinpoche, Tibetan Buddhist Master

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
- Socrates, in Plato's Apology

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing," on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote:
"Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote:
"Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

To the connection,
And to having fun...

Work like you don't need the money
Dance like you're not being watched
Love like you've never been hurt

(I don't remember where that comes from, or if it's complete)

I've been reading some David Mamet (he's a director and writes plays and screenplays). It's interesting stuff. He's not a fan of "schools" of acting or coaching. Coaching can teach you to focus energies on manipulating emotions and get rid of anxiety - but this is counterproductive. Anxiety is something that should be used in performance. It's a good thing because it makes the actor more courageous and the acting more genuine and powerful. You should deal with uncertainty, and face being uncomfortable. I think that's a challenge in life as well.... to try to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Everyone's looking for a quick sensation
Looking for love with no real dedication
What you feel is just a fraction
Cuz only love can give you deep satisfaction

- Abraham Bam Boogie's "Deep Satisfaction" (which I still haven't downloaded... no one seems to have it!!)

"The situation is hopeless, but not yet desperate."
- Russian proverb
(Why is this up here today? Well... I didn't quite make what I needed to on the GRE verbal section)

Q: What does a gay horse eat?

A: haaaaayy!

Gandhi used to drink his own urine and sleep naked with his niece?!?! Well... whether or not this stuff is true, it doesn't take away from his philosophies.

"If it takes too long, you're probably doing it wrong."
- my GRE book

What is a Renaissance Man? Am I one? I'm not satisfied with any one pursuit. I'm not satisfied with just one major (or even two). I'm not fully satisfied with the courses I take. I want everything together. I want an integration, a unity... to see everything in the widest context, to foster a sense that all things fit together. But there are pressures to stay within the limits - we're often locked at lower levels.

How do you define merit? Test scores and grades are never enough. Grades depend on the whims of teachers. And standardized tests? The best correlation for high SAT scores is wealth. There are many subjective judgements for merit and they come in many forms. Motivation, ambition, curiosity, capacity to take risks and originality are all crucial points, but there are no quantitative standards for these. True passion/spirit is hard to find in a written document. It's important for institutions to say they are selective, but it's a lie since they don't know how to define and measure merit. At the other end, we lie to ourselves when we are admitted because we believe we are qualified, and others aren't. What do any of you think about all this?
[BTW I'm talking about admissions to a liberal arts college, not to a technical institution or to some company or place that expects specific skills from you]

Do you ever wonder if other people perceive/sense things the way that you do? How do you really know if the red you see is the exact same color/shade that other people call red? Well... don't worry about that any more. It seem scientists have found a physiological basis for the perception of color. Although, we still haven't definitively solved the problem of how to really know that other minds exist, eh? How do we know we're not just dreaming up the whole world and everyone in it? All of you reading my blog might not even exist ;)

Tonight I ate beef voluntarily for the first time in around 10 years. It was a small chunk from Boik's taco, at the Dillo. I've been meaning to do this for a while because I've realized that there aren't any real reasons why I don't eat beef. In the beginning there were (cultural, religious, etc). Since then the reasons have lost all salience, and it's just been a habit for me not to. Anyways, onto what I thought about the experience... it was chewy and reminded me of lamb. The big question is, can I finish a whole steak taco? Will I even order one?

If you can't have your cake and eat it, eat it slowly and hope that there's more baking in the oven.